Colly Wolly

Colin, I made you an admin. Your WIFE was taking too long!

You May Already Be a Weiner

OK fans- what is this? Do you want one for Christmas? Here is a hint . No non active LDS home should be without one.

one of the 10 weirdest patents

6.

System For Magnetically Attaching Templeless Eyewear to a Person

For the uninitiated, "temples" are the little arms on eyeglasses that go behind your ears to hold them on your face. According to this patent, temples "cause discomfort to the wearer ... and can even cause permanent creases in the wearer's head." Rather than go to his optometrist and get his glasses adjusted, inventor David Peschel decided to go the extra mile and waste years of his life solving a nonexistent problem.

Here's the thing, though: Judging by the illustration, this system requires you to surgically remove your ears and replace them with magnetic rings. That seems a little drastic, particularly when you consider the fact that GLASSES REALLY AREN'T THAT UNCOMFORTABLE.

OK, upon closer examination, it turns out the system works by sticking adhesive magnets to the sides of your head. In a way, that might actually be worse than surgically removing your own ears. At least people without ears are capable of dignity.

Take a look at this!

This is the ring that Tara decided that she liked. It's a really nice ring, but even better, it's super inexpensive! To give you a hint, my ring will probably cost more than hers. We know someone who sells diamonds at cost, so I think that we'll see if we can get some larger diamonds put in while still keeping the price roughly the same (it's a 10kt gold ring with 1/6 ct diamonds in it). I'd let you know when I was planning on asking her, but she reads this blog too, so.....you'll all just have to wait ;)

REMEMBER THE TEN THINGS GOD WON'T ASK ON THAT DAY.1... God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.2... God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.3... God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.4... God won't ask what your highest salary was. He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.5... God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.6... God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.7... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you treated your neighbors8... God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the content of your character.9... God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation.He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.10... God won't have to ask how many people you forwarded this to, He already knows your decision.

That last one was obviously just to get you to forward it but the rest is so nice!

Jello: Dessert or Sidedish?

Ok, we had this debate in one of my meetings for Men's Chorus. Is Jello primarily a desert or a side dish? I'd like to hear what everyone here thinks (and I want to get an idea of who's really checking this and who's not)

Funny English Analogies Actually Used by High-Schoolers

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Changing majors

Hey, I've been thinking about changing my major from global supply chain management to organizational behavior/human resources. Any thoughts would be appreciated!